YOU MIGHT BE A HERPER IF...

[KLG]

We're always looking for new contributions for this section of our website. If you know of any good ones, please post them here!

:mrgreen: :mrgreen:

K~

[faze]

kara i told you this one earlier.... you might be a avid herper if.... while your wife if walking out the front door to goto work she says "dont forget to mist me"(love ya savannah babe ;) "
you also might be a herper if... right after you walk in the door from work(after getting attacked by the chilluns) you walk straight to the herp room to check on everyone......

[Schlyne]

You might be a herper if you have a giant pile of tea lids to use as gecko food dishes...and you think you don't have enough.

Every animal in your house has a basking spot..and you wonder if it would be beneficial if YOU had one.

[Apython]

You have limited seating in your living room because you threw out the sofa to make room for a turtle tank.

[Adam]

you ask the returant owner where he gets his frog legs from, then you take some home for your hognose!

[fkdmatt]

You use so much power to heat up your herp room, if you plug anything in anywhere else in your house the power goes out.

[JERICO]

You order from certain take aways because the pots are good for waterbowls.

You save every cardboard box as it might make a hide.

You look at every shelf unit and think it will make a nice stack of vivs.

[faze]

you might be a herper if you got more tupperware in the reptile room then in the cabinet

[BPBabe448]

You use so much power to heat up your herp room, if you plug anything in anywhere else in your house the power goes out.

Funny you should mention that.....everytime I plug in my hairdryer the power goes out in that half of the house...and I'm not kidding!


You might be a herper if....

you take down family photos to put up more pics of your 'Conda.

You keep your house at 80 degrees in order to insure your snakes have the proper temp gradients.

You ask your spous if he wants any waxworms as a special treat.

You bring home rubbermaids everytime you go to the store....yet your closet is a big old mess.

[Sherry Howell]

Ya know, with the exception of the wax worms, most of these describe me pretty well. We've moved almost all of the furniture out of the living room so we could fit in cages. :smt016

[BallPyFan]

Except the clock, which doubles as an ignuana perch LOL! :smt023

[Sherry Howell]

Oh, yeah. Mortrid's and Baby Girl's favorite snoozing spot. Of course, Mortrid also likes to climb on Baby the burm's cage to snooze and let's not forget the beanbag he likes, too. We are indeed ig-whipped in that house. :smt016

[BallPyFan]

Ig-whipped ROFLMAO...those igs are more spoiled than my cats (and it takes quite a bit to beat out Bourbon!).

[KLG]

These are SO GREAT y'all!!!! Keep them coming! :smt023 :smt023 :smt023

K~

[BallPyFan]

Here's one:
When your roommate opens the freezer and comments: "Hey, I can see people food in here. Guess it's time for another RodentPro order!"

[Adam]

you join sites like this

[Schlyne]

You get excited about baby roaches...Heck, you BOUGHT roaches, just so you could start a colony, and you hate crickets.

[DwCp05]

You know when you spend more time talking or reading posts than work or school.

[Jesse]

I don't know if this is already one, but i thought it was pretty funny..

You might be a herper if one of your weekly chores includes un-clogging the bath tub drain of snake skin.

[invision]

you might be a herper if....

your in a rush and choose to dry your socks with your heat lamp as the drier is too slow

[abx]

here are my symptoms...you might be a herper if...

*you raid the news paper recycling bins for bedding
*you call in sick from work because your het albino is laying eggs
*you love the smell of cypruss mulch
*you rent apartments based on the ability of hiding your reptile collection in it
*you cant help but wonder how many rodents you can produce out of the garage you just drove by
*you cringe when the landlord needs to be in your apartment
*you call frantically to local pet stores looking for pinky mice
*you work 2 jobs to feed your reptiles
*you freek out when HELIX go on sale
*you loose 2 days sleep when a new morph is proven
*you have a girlfriend that will help you clean snake cages so you won't be late for a movie
*you are called "snakeman" at any time
*you are asked "how are you?" and you reply,"I've seen 8 ovulations already!"
*you refer to Daytona as "Shangrila"
*you have seperation anxiety when you sell a hatchling
*you know what palpating means
*you get pissed when you hear the words poisonous snake
*you log on to Kingsnake.com more than twice a day
*you know the differance between blairs and alterna
*you know the differance between T+ and T-
*you can tell the differance between a lesser platinum and a butter ball


aaron burkett

[earthpig23]

You might be a herper if....
You take a Latin language class in order to better understand your herps scientific names.
Your wife gets up twice a night to check temps...and the kids have no fevers.
you take more time picking out a snake than you did your last car.

[Ryan77]

If you talk about your boys and girls and you have no kids

[Alias47]

You are the only one in the house that changes the toilet paper and paper towel rolls...because everyone else is tired of being yelled at for throwing away the empties.

You wake up in a panic because you just dreamed you hatched a new morph.

You have to eat all the meat that WAS in your freezer...so you can fit the new shipment of rodents in.

You have ever found pieces of aspen in your bed, at your office, in your vehicle, in your clean laundry, etc.

[PadraigC]

You might be aherper if... Your family and friend suspect use of heavy narcotics after catching you for the second time starring again at your monitors in aww of the social complex for six straight hours

[Jesse]

*you get pissed when you hear the words poisonous snake


Amen Brotha! :smt023

[Eliot]

You're spouse has to move the rats out of the way to get his/her ice cream

You're electric bill is so high the electric company and the police think you're growing Marijuana

[RhacBreeder]

You might be a herper if....you can recite the "you might be a herper if..." list on NERD's website.

[SMsnakes]

You use so much power to heat up your herp room, if you plug anything in anywhere else in your house the power goes out.




This is a good one... I am always popping the breaker.. :nredbiggrin:

[SMsnakes]

Here is mine:

You might be a herper if: Everyone comes too your house to go to the zoo.

[SMsnakes]

You're spouse has to move the rats out of the way to get his/her ice cream

You're electric bill is so high the electric company and the police think you're growing Marijuana


These are good lol.

Yes I have too, move rats to get to the ice-cream. hahaha

I have had neighbors ask me if I had pot trees, from my herp room glowing red thru the window all day/night. :nicon_bi:

[TommyD.]

Ballpyfan I don't have that problem I throw food out to make room for the rodent bags LOL.

You might be a herper when you spend more time cleaning cages then you do with family.

You might be a field herper when you have a line of traffic behind you at night on gravel county road.

You might be a herper when you have to have ask friends go with you to Wal-Mart to help push carts of sterlite boxes out.

You might be a herp when everyone you know saves old newspapers for you.

You might be a field herper when you when you wish your back yard consist of tin not grass. :biggrin:

[BPBabe448]

YOu might be a herper if.....

*You wonder how much your neice REALLY loves that rabbit....
* you have 2.0 rats...you've got a very happy retic!
* You have a 4 bedroom house but you live alone
* you feel bad when your daughters friends say, "Aww...how cute" when they see your rat colony.
* Your aunt comes over and wonders what you did with the shelf she gave you for your birthday...
* You respond to your username on NERD's forum!
* You have at least 5 tanks set up in your house before the F.I.R.E show
* you already have hotel tickets for your "vacation" to daytona in august, and its february!
* Your kids are mad because you said they couldn't have a puppy...but you come home with a new ig!
* You always have a little extra cash when you go into petshops...just incase you have to "rescue" something...or so you tell your wife!
*You constantly tell your spouse...but I HAVE to get it...look at it...its so..scaley!
* You come home from a "meeting" looking all scruffy..your wife questions you and you reply, "alright alright, I admit it...I was at a herp swap..I had to wrestle with that ig to get it in the car! OOPS! ..heh...nevermind" :wink:
* Your wife said she wanted new carpet for christmas...and she wasn't the least bit suprised when you gave her that irian jaya! :P
*You know the exact date you will have enough money to buy a pied!
* Ever since your burm escaped...your neighbor hasn't been able to find her dog
* You dont have enough time to do your homework because you spent an hour writing this...*sigh*

[RhacBreeder]

You've ever poured powder on the floor the same night that you lined up shopping bags along the baseboard...(to find a lost snake).

You've taken your pet for a "walk" and little girls scream, little boys follow you, and grown ups say "what do you feed that thing??

None of the animals you own could ever be on pet star...

[JASBALLS]

When you buy your 12 year old son. A pair of Het Hypos instead of the Playstion game he wanted...

[diablodragon]

you know you are a herper if,
you are on messenger and someone types BRB, and you immediatly think brazilian rainbow boa
you have to make an emergency late night run to walmart to buy ky jelly to probe a snake.
you go into ANY store and find something that you could but for your reptile.
you can name every (or almost) ball python morph by sight
if you stake out livestock auctions just to buy rabbits for a couple bucks cheaper.
if you buy a rabbit hutch for the rabbits you bought from the livestock auction. :twisted:
if over 90% of the pictures you take are of reptiles or people holding reptiles
if getting a new reptiles magazine stops you from doing anything untill it is read front to back :biggrin:

[KLG]

you are on messenger and someone types BRB, and you immediatly think brazilian rainbow boa


ROFLMAO!!!! Yes, thank you!

[ball21]

You might be a herper if......You school counslor calls you in for a meeting cause they think your a cutter. But really you tride to take that rat away from a hungry black throat

[diablodragon]

You might be a herper if......You school counslor calls you in for a meeting cause they think your a cutter. But really you tride to take that rat away from a hungry black throat

yeah, ive had a couple people ask me if I cut myself cause i have a bunch of scars on my arms from my iguana.
a couple more,
you might be a herper if
"herp" becomes a 4 letter word for all your non-herper friends because they know this will start an hour or more monologe about herps.
your intire birthday present list is herp related
when you say you have a very nice rack your talking about your snakes houses.
if when taking your pet for a walk it nearly causes several car accidents because people just stare at it.

[Nett]

You might be a herper if ........The best field herpin is in your basement :lol:

[Tony Bocanegra]

You might be a herper if.......after waking up with bug bites you provent-a-mite your bed......Just happened this morning.

[jimcal]

You have two refrigerators. One runs hot the other runs cold

[ItsJustJosh]

if you're eating ramen for 3 weeks, but your $10 corn snake just got a new pvc cage

[CrazyCodyKadunk]

you might be a herper if...
*you stopped spending money 2 weeks before the herp show so u could have extra money for it.
*since u stopped buying things you eat at other peoples house just to get food
*you run out of gas the day before the herp show in a snow storm and u are forced to walk and get gas (gas was $1.70 a gallion i didnt wana pay that i was hopeing it get lower)
*you dont own any pants :biggrin2:
*you bought out the last herp show u where at
*its "herp" not "reptile" thats what the common people call it
* you keep telling ur self its the last one but come on there is no "last one"
* your herps eat better then you do
* heck the rodents you feed the snakes eat better then you do
* you have read every book on herps and built many of your own cages but have yet to read the instructions to put your kids bike together they got last year
* people come in to your house and are speechless

[RhacBreeder]

You've ever had a conversation like this - http://newenglandreptile.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=1008[/url]

[liljerzeedevil]

Too Funny......Rhacbreeder

[damianthesnakeman]

your girlfriend has ever told you its the snakes or her....slrry baby but the snakes come first in my heart lol

[FishTool69]

you wake up early in the morning to temp-gun your girlfriend... in order to confirm that yes in fact she is hot.

[Adam]

LLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOLLLLLLLLLLL i cant express hpw funny that was

[CJReptile]

How's this one?

You might be a herper if your mother now refuses to let you in your own house after reptile shows without a full cavity search.

No seriously. She does that. :(

[boyblue]

you might be a herper if ........you tell your mom "where have you been, i always haad that"
you might be a herper if.........you tell your mom you'll cook your own steak just so your nile can eat.
you might be a herper if.........you can count all your ribs but your savannahs feet cant touch the floor
you might be a herper if.........your so hungry you catch yourself wondering if you can cook a rat

[jimcal]

you might be if : You use a temp gun on your kids when they dont feel well

[RhacBreeder]

you might be if : You use a temp gun on your kids when they dont feel well


AHHHH HAHAHAHA that's effin awsome! :clap:

You might be a herper if... Any of your pets pee/poop on the floor and you know better than to rub their nose in it.

[Hung Solo]

You might be a herper if your collection costs more than you car.

(It just happened to me this weekend, lol.)

Hung

[jordanm]

If you've ever bought your neighbor an air freshener because your snake pooped in their apartment the last time you went over (true story)

If the first question people you rarely talk to ask is "How is your snake doing?" and you just humbly reply "good" because you don't want to explain just how many snakes you have.

The lumber guys at Home Depot know you by name, and think your a weirdo.

The UPS guy knocks on your window when you have overnight deliveries, because he knows your not awake yet, and you'll freak out on him if he leaves your snake on the porch.

[DwCp05]

You try to find an outlet to vaccum your room, but afraid because you dont want to unplug anything so that the temps wont be thrown off.

happened this morning.
might not happen to any big breeders but happened to me.

[Schlyne]

You are overcome with joy when you walk into the container store and see shoeboxes sold by the case....next to stacks of sweaterboxes...

[CJReptile]

... if your wife now uses the neigbors bathroom.
(that retic needed to soak!)

[Steve_Ray]

If the first question people you rarely talk to ask is "How is your snake doing?" and you just humbly reply "good" because you don't want to explain just how many snakes you have.


I really like that one since it happens so much to me! This thread rocks, lotsa laughs for herp people.

[Beardo]

You might be a herper if:

-You refer to all mammals as "snake food."
-Your family is afraid to open your freezer.
-You've ever asked the people at the McDonald's drive thru if the hamburgers are frozen/thawed or fresh/killed. :twisted:
-You've been in a pet store and had to correct the employee who tells someone Iguanas eat crickets and only get as big as the aquarium you keep them in. :doh:

[JShelby]

You might be a herper if your wife walks in the room and sees you at the computer saying, " Oh man look at that tail". And when she rushes over and sees the KS gallery, she says, " why can't you look at porn like a normal guy.

True story

[DwCp05]

The only thing that gets you up early during spring break is to sign for a box of your first crested geckos.

Happend this morning. Man are they awsome. I wil post pics.

[KLG]

Submitted by "ZULU"

redecorating the house means finding a way to squeeze in another aquarium.

you ask the store clerk for a No-Pest "fly" Strip in January.

you own a half dozen kitty litter boxes, but no cats.

you give the guy wearing snake skin boots your dirtiest look and wonder if you could get off with justifiable homicide.

you take along a pillow case when mountain biking.

your arms say "IV drug user" but your Burmese python says "lunch"

you have many heat pads on but never have used one. (from Ian)

you start looking at your kitchen cupboards, while wondering how difficult it would be to convert them to snake enclosures. (another true one however Rebecca's hubby didn't appreciate the idea)

your parents are helping you find a new place to live and are willing to pay all the expenses
and your only 15 years old. (true one sent in!)

your idea of a vacation is going to a herp show.

you evaluate potential apartments/townhouses by the location of the electrical sockets, and the how easily the second bedroom can accommodate all of your turtle tanks.

when hiking, you said, "Look, a baby rattlesnake! How cute!"

you have chased away Jehovah's Witnesses and salesmen with your Python. (I'm guilty)

the thought of a burglar in your house makes you giggle. (guilty here too, scared one off)

you refer to a pregnant woman as "gravid", and if she had twins you want to know if the babies came out with a ratio of 1.1, 0.2 or 2.0

you find the entire restaurant become silent around you as you and your friends talk about your pets.

you find your self talking to people about the different way to kill rats.

you separate your mail into 3 piles- bills, junk mail, and this month's price lists.

you get out of your car and start stop traffic so that the snake can make it across to safety! (gulity)

you get upset when the Discovery Channel has a 1 hour special on snakes and they don't even identify the species!

you don't count your mice when you tell friends what, and how many, animals you own.

you judge the quality of a garage sale by the potential herp housing units for sale.

you never see your postman, he just rings the doorbell, drops the box and runs.

you find books on parasites interesting literature.

you only read the "Pets for sale" classified section of the paper.

you notice that your cat has a new approach to entering the living room: "tip-pawing" sideways, in slow motion, and staring at the same damn piece of furniture everytime! (guilty)

you see someone walking their chihuahua and think...hmm...snake food.

every vehicle you own has a snake bag in it..

you use the word "shed" a lot and aren't referring to a building.

you watch "Crocodile Dundee", "Raiders of the Lost Arc", etc., etc., and always root for the reptiles instead of the hero.

you know the nutritional content of gerbils.

while watching Anaconda, you were rooting for the snake the whole time

when walking out of the theatre after watching Anaconda, you hear someone say that a snake couldn't really catch a prey item in real life and you have to lecture them about just how wrong they are.

Friends & Family

your house guest yells "You have a dead rat in you kitchen!" and you reply "he's thawing for dinner"

you find out who your real friends are because they're the only ones who are willing to ask you how your day was over lunch.

you keep insisting to your spouse that they just gave you the snake for free, and that you just lost your billfold.

when you hear your mother scream "mouse!" and a smile lights up your face.

your relatives and friends make elaborate excuses to avoid visiting your new house.

all of your roommates have stopped using the microwave to heat up their food.

your response to friends showing you their new hamsters is, "Nope, too small."

you think your snake is more 'sexy' than your girlfriend/boyfriend.

guests at your house have to ask before they are allowed to sit on your couch.

you go to get a "family" portrait done at a studio and they kick you out.

the people at your office know your snakes by their first names.

you have a house warming party and no one shows up

you go to the zoo or pet store to try to find a date.

the Delta Cargo people know you by name

you spend more on your snake than your mate.

people nervously look at your wrists and begin to hide sharp implements as they try to discern what "life event" you recently experienced.

your best picture of your mate is with a snake wrapped around him/her.

when a visitor in your home asks your pre-schooler "Do you know what this is?" And your kid replies "Of course, its a molurus bivittatus, better known as a Burmese Python."

your friends are constantly asking. "What are all those little holes in your fingers?"

your house is the yearly field trip for the school.

your neighbors think you're a prostitute/photographer, because they can see the red light from your windows every night.

your room mate is afraid to do any cooking because of those nasty surprises you forget to wrap up in the fridge.

you've to convinced your mate other that you need bigger house/apartment so your snakes can have their bedroom.

you have photos of your snakes but not your family in your wallet.

Shopping

you buy an extra freezer, just to hold your food supply.

you buy rodent food in a 50 pound bag.

you constantly buy aquariums, but own no fish

you buy bleach but never do laundry.

you subscribe to newspaper just for substrate purposes.

you buy a new camera so you can take closeups of your new babies that just hatched.

you only buy furniture that is herp safe.

you've ever had to lecture a pet store employee/manager.

you are standing in the pet store checkout line, and the person in line behind you says "Oh, they're so cute, do they make good pets?" and you reply "Don't know, but "Red" sure loves them".

you have been thrown out of at least 3 pet shops this year.

pet shops have your picture on the wall with a sign saying "Do Not Let This Person In!"

you spent you last dollar on a herp book and you don't get paid for another week.

you buy 100 watt bulbs by the case.

you buy cable just for the Discovery and Animal channels.

you look for sales on sweater boxes, but you don't own any sweaters.

you buy litter boxes but own no cats.

you thought of stealing your neighbor's driftwood lawn ornament.

you ask the salesperson where the No-Pest Fly strips are in January.

your wish list looks more like a reptile surplus's price list by the day

all the gifts you ask for are "alive".

Home

your freezer contains more dead mice then ice cream.

you've ever cooked your dinner and defrosted a mouse at the same time.

you hang signs all over your house "Escaped Snake! Please look before you sit!"

you never turn on your room lights because the cages provide enough.

you never have to turn on the heat because the cages provide enough heat for the whole house

your screen saver is of a snake slithering across your screen

the electric company asks you why you need a 200 amp service when all your major appliances are gas.

you have to buy extra bookshelves for all the herp books and magazines.

your linen closet has about three times as many pillowcases as sheets.

you've said "Are aquariums all right?" to a prospective landlord and own no fish.

you find yourself telling prospective landlords that you have a small snake and you're talking about your 6-foot boa.

your freezer contains more dead mice then ice cream.

you keep your house at a constant 85F.

losing electrical power at any time of the year is a major crisis.

you sleep on the couch, but have a lovely reptile setup in the bedroom.

you have a sign that says "Beware of Snake" on your front door.

you evaluate potential apartments/townhouses by whether they have electricity included.

you evaluate potential apartments by the location of the electrical sockets.

redecorating the house means finding a way to squeeze in another aquarium.

hunting under the bed with a flashlight doesn't involve finding that missing sock.

you think finding mice in your new house is a good thing.

every small bookshelf, desk, and counter you own has an aquarium on top of it.

you've ever had to clean mouse/rat guts off of anything.

your bedroom looks like a picture out of National Geographic.

your electric company asks if you want a professional account.

you have a bigger uninterruptible power supply on your snake cage than on your computer.

when you have a 3 bedroom house and you realize you have a herp in each bedroom.

you charge admission at your house, but kids 12 and under are still free.

Last but not least

you devote your web space to your snakes.

all your bookmarks go to herp pages.

[Schlyne]

You would rather clean cages than do homework.

[RhacBreeder]

your neighbors think you're a prostitute/photographer, because they can see the red light from your windows every night.

We have actually noticed people slowing down when we stand out in front of our apt. complex late at night, all old men and they stare... My girlfriend and I actually mentioned that it might be the red light in the window! lol.

[RhacBreeder]

www.newenglandreptile.com/forums is your home page.

You get mad if your significant other signs on to your NERD forums screen name, because when you go on you won't know which threads have gotten more posts since your last visit.

You know venemoid is not an action figure, and that bci and bcc are not radio stations.

You can see a reptile or invert right now without turning your head.

No reptile enters or leaves your local pet store without you knowing.

You know a Reptile Mister isn't a person.

The term "popping" has no meaning pertaining to dancing to you.

You told your mom you bought a 20" monitor, and she goes to the computer to check it out, only to find the same old 15" computer monitor, and an empty freshly used substrate bag and new heat lamp box in the garbage. "Honey? What's that hissing noise?" "Nothing mom, must be the cat!" LoL.

Someone always asks if your striped California king snake is poisonous, and you have to explain first the difference between poisonous and venemous, and then the difference between a king cobra and a cal king snake and then let them know that "Yes, they can all bite."

[bigcountry]

you can't go over to your girlfriends house for the night because you have to feed the snakes.....um yeah, it didn't go over very well.

[Hung Solo]

You quit drinking to save money for an axanthic.

[RhacBreeder]

You constantly look at balls online.

[themselves]

you might be a herper if, you say you have tons of kids and ur talking about your bloods.

[Schlyne]

You have just scolded one of your snakes for sneaking up on you, taking a quick tour of the tarantula room, and giving you a heart attack in the process.

(Good thing today was feeding day...I went to feed her first and noticed she was missing..proceeded to swear, continued feeding everybody else, and just as I turned around from feeding the colubrid in the T room..she was on the T shelves crusing around. Turned around and she was right behind me :shocked: )

Whew. At least I found her rather quickly. She's going into a new cage tomorrow.

[Schlyne]

You have baby food in your fridge and baby food spoons in the silverware drawer, but you have no children!

[bloodpython_MA]

You might be a herper if.....
...You have been stopped in the street by police asking you "What's that? is that legal?"
..... more then three of your family members refuse to visit because of your "nasty pets"
...People standing near you in public jump 3'+ when they finally notice your special friend on your shoulder 8)
...Children around town yank their mothers purse saying "Look mommy it's the snake guy"
.....The best $$$$ you spent in your life was on a herp
....... your phone conversations consist of you explaining how your herps are doing and how you got that stubborn eater to finnaly feed :lol:
.....You have ever pointed out to an ablivious keeper that the "Cute little lizard" they bought out of state is illegal
......You think to your self, as you watch Jeff Corwin, Field Herping is NOT that easy! You can't just walk up and find a Gila Monster everytime you go out!!!! :lol:
blood

[Schlyne]

You know what the names are of the killer one of kind owned by a big breeder snakes are. I'm talking things like "Floyd", (the only albino GTP) "RoLo" (Kara's super duper red blood), "Karma" (Ralph Davis's blue eyed Lucy ball python).

[-Brian]

Currently experiencing:

You have a sudden, serious, bug and spider issue, in your home and your first call is to a local herp distributer for geckos, instead of to an exterminator.

After two years without internet access at home, you convince your wife that you can afford it now. The topic of porn never comes up, but you have to make some very serious promises about time limits on herp sites!
- Brian

[Savvgawd]

You might be a herper if..

Your idea of a workout is wrestling a 100 lb Retic out of its cage

no one can use the sink because your defrosting rats

you get so excited talking to another herper you trip over your words
.....

[RhacBreeder]

...You ever said to anyone "Hey you grabbed my snake." and thought nothing of it wondering why everyone is laughing.

[SuperTic]

You might be a herper if you have record of every time your animal poops!

[PanamaRed]

you invite friends over for a party and get dirty looks after they go to the freezer for some ice for their drink..

you move your speakers into the yard so you don't disturb some gravid females in the house..

you plant certain plants in your yard because their big leaves make good backrounds for herp pics..

your friends have either been converted to herpers or they just sit there and hear blah blah boa blah blah python blah blah.

people look around their chair before they sit down in your house.

you have dogs to gaurd your snake room, who cares about the TV..

you have pictures of snakes on your walls instead of family..

you painted your house the colors of a boa.. (Still trying to figure out where to put the red tail)

you quit going to the zoo because you have more reptiles than they do.

your friend might be a herper if.. you think your playing a joke by putting a pinky frozen in an ice cube in their drink, and they find it and keep it..

[jordanm]

Your sleep schedual corrolates with the automated lights in your herp cages

[ffollett]

if you check out furniture being thrown away to see if the wood would could be used to make enclosures.
Did this one yesterday some company threw away an entire office floor of furniture. Book shelves, metal shelving units, file cabinets, desks, you name it, if it was office furniture they tossed it.

[r0ck3rgUrL1992]

You turn your bedroom into a tropical rainforest.

[aeroboy]

you might be a herper if,the combined length of all your snakes is more than the height of your house.

you might be a herper if, you have to tell people they cant sleep over because the jungle carpet you just bought is a little aggressive out of his cage(and he is lost in your house)

[janiel]

You might be a herper if your wife tells you she's pregnant, and you immediatly set up an incubator....
(Sorry Louise, you i did'nt mean it .... Much! :cool: )

You might be a herper if you define your children as 2.1....

You might be a herper if your favorite passtime is drilling holes in plastic boxes...

You might be a herper if your biggest wish, is free electricity...

[oregon herper55]

you might be a herper if when someone says pam doesent taste good you give them a strange look and say why would you taste p.a.m not thinking of the kitchen greese

[ffollett]

You might be a herper if you are a member of every herp forum on the internet.

You spend more time on the internet in herp forums then with your kids.

[jgcity2000]

You might be a herper if... You refer to mix-breed dogs as hybrids.

[Schlyne]

you cannot count the number of times you've cleaned cages in pajamas.

[liljon140]

You might be a herper if you have a grocery list of feeders/supplies when going to the local pet shop.

[Orapallo]

The local pet store calls YOU and asks how many rat pups you need for the clutches you have incubating.

[ffollett]

if Daytona is better then Christmas.

[Erin]

Wow. I just opened a scab by accident so I put novasyn on it. Isn't that sad?

[kaa]

You might be a herper if you have ever made payments on a snake
your boss yells at you for haveing your snake in the store
you almost get in a fight because someone calls snakes stupid and just a head with a tail and

[JERICO]

Every week you check nerds shipping policy to the uk because you want that albino granit, and without that granit then you aint buying the albino green and you keep telling yourself that your not getting any poss het leopard's untill you have the green to go with the granit to go with the leopards to breed back to see if you can get albino green granit leopards although that would'nt work because they would really be pattenless and its 3 in the morning and now you'v got a headach and i'v still not got that freaking Albino Granit :P

[Carlos Boillat]

those are all so funny here is mine if your family vacation spots include ghana, and indonesia, and burma but you dont seem to spend any time with your kids

[KolleenJ]

You might be a herper if...
you have a house SNAKE instead of a house-cat to catch the mice living in your basement!

You might be a REDNECK herper if...
your herps enclosure takes up the WHOLE front porch, and the front porch is bigger than your house! lol sorry had too!

[JERICO]

You have a pot of ky jelly next to some surgical instruments on your coffee table.

[jojo6199]

You might be a herp family if:

Your oldest daughter just got her first apartment and bought a snake BEFORE she bought a bed or a couch! (makes a herp mom's heart proud!)

Your teenage son's friends think you have the coolest house on the block!

Your 12 year old daughter wants to know which snakes are going to her in your will! (yes sadly true....that kid likes to plan ahead and knows the value of female breeding size snakes! LOL)

None of your teenage son's friends will root for food in your freezer after an all night Xbox session!

You sneak live prey into the house behind your 4 year old's back so he won't think they are new pets!

You know exactly when each of your snake's last pooped...but aren't sure if any of the kid's are "regular"!

You promise to pay for half of the cost of that cool albino nelson's milksnake if the kid gets decent grades!

You end up paying for it all even if their grades aren't great (cuz you know you want the darn cute thing as much as they do!)

Your kids invite friends over on Saturday night to feed snakes and you are amazed that some of their parents object! (or show up too LOL)

You are looking for a new house, not because the kids need another bedroom...the snakes do!

You've ever had a few of your rotten children laugh evilly and chant "S.F.E....S.F.E." when you got tagged on feeding night!

[ritt]

You might be a college herper if...

=> you specifically select a dorm because its the only one that allows pets
=> you arrange your room so that you can fit in all the cages and tanks
=> your dorm has a reptile night from the Herp Club and half the reptiles out are yours
=> you have the smallest and largest snake in the dorm
=> you spend more on snakes than textbooks (an impressive feat, especially for science majors $500 on texts this semester alone!)
=> there are 6 snakes, 1 monitor, 1 scorpion, 1 hedgehog, and 3 humans living in your double
=> you pull an all-nighter to finish a paper the night before its due, yet you can find time every single day to work on gettin that nippy little neonate to calm down

[jemima]

you can tell the differnce between colubrid & python crap by the smell!

[r0ck3rgUrL1992]

your 5-6 year old kids ask for a leopard gecko for Christmas instead of a puppy, kitten, ect. And they prove they can take care of it themselves! (Hey, you've taught them everything they'd need to know)

when you're single and have no kids, you look for a three bedroom house. One room for you, two for the herps. Heck! You'll just sleep on the couch and leave your room for your green iggy! (Bed and all!)

at age 5 you know not only 4, but the 5 categories of reptiles and can name them to the entire kindergarten class. "Snakes, Lizards, Crocs. and Alligators, Tutrles and Tortises, and Tuataras" and no person in the class knows that last one.

you laugh when you see a snake eat a live mouse. (That's me, last year it's what made me want a snake...lol My science teacher had her friend bring in his snake and we saw it eat live mice. [Corn snake, named Gypsy])

[CJinNH]

you take used kitchen cabinets that someone is throwing away and turn them into furniture quality snake cages!!

[r0ck3rgUrL1992]

at the furniture store you eye every piece of furniture for "herp homes" and buy most of what you like. And when the cashier asks why you buy so much furniture, you reply "to make houses" and you wonder why he person looks at you with such a stange face...after all, everyone else you see knows why you get all that furniture.

[fire]

You might be a herper if you say wanna see my balls or you want to see my balls eat or say my balls are breeding.

[bloodpython_MA]

When selling your blood has other meaning then the stuff in your veins.
If you;ve ever thought of how much space u could save if u where a snake, and how many more cages u could fit in your room.
Your counting the days until you can go herping again

[NorthernRegius.com]

Your snake wish list is longer now than when you first got into the hobby.

Your snakes have their own frozen food section in one of your freezers.

You daydream about what the next designer morph will look like... and what you (the creator) will name it. ;)

[cassandra]

You might be a herper if while sitting in the reception area of the bank, you eyeball the nice silk trees there and think "dang, those'd be great for my boa".

[xXVanXx]

When your girlfrined calls you from jail and its 1000 to get her out,you pretend that you didn't get a call about it and buy a new boa,,,its priceless and true

[darkstarsinner]

lol, you might be a Herper if everyone thinks the name of your snake is that of your Child. (guilty)
I don't even have kids yet, but when I talk to somebody they always say "Oh Ambrosia is such a pretty name, I didn't even know you had a little girl. How old and how big?" Then it's really funny when you tell them 1 1/2 and 6'9". People can make the weirdest faces.

[Snakes Incorporated]

You know you are a Herper when?? (http://www.snakes.co.za/snakephpbb/viewtopic.php?t=2796&start=0&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=)



You know you are a Herper when you go Herping at a golf course instead of playing golf.

You know you are a herper when you break for sticks and shadows in the road.



You know you are a herper when you are always checking prices on 2nd hand golf clubs but have never played a round in your live



You know you're a herper when you have more frozen rats in the freezer than food.



You know you're a herper when you go shopping and have to check out all pet shops and and ... even after you have done it the day before.



You know you're a herper when you see all small mammals as snake food.



You know when you are a herper when you sit up at 0013 in the morning and reading through all the post,reacting to some,and agreeing with most of the .........HERPERS.



You know you're a herper when you refer to your pregnant wife as being gravid.

You know you're a herper when you refer to a newborn baby as a "pink".



You know you're a herper when you walk into a kids play room and move the rubber snake out the way so no one steps on it.



you know you are a herper when you have more vitamins on the shelf for your pets than for your family...



Upon seeing a famous model naked with a boa constrictor around her, you first reaction is, “Nice looking snake.”



When your Girlfriend tells you your snakes is more important that she is and you must choose......what happened to me this weekend....



You know you are a Herper when you get sunburn and worry that your shed isn’t coming off in one piece.

You have twenty-seven dog and cat bowels around and no dogs or cats.

You go to the zoo or per store to find a date.

When a person is described as a “real snake in the grass,” you think you’d really enjoy meeting them.



...when you go to a pet store and find yourself giving the customers advice about their corn snake.



.... you get banned from a pet store for offering advice to potential customers.

when u refer to ure baby as a hatchling

….the biggest problem you face in your day is keeping your humidity high enough.



…when the last thing your daughters boyfriend has to worry about is a gun.



…your annual house clearing is done when an animal escapes!



…you go hysterical when pet stores mix incompatible species in cages.


…you name your rodents things like breakfast, lunch and dinner

…..You know you're a herper if...

...you flip the garden stepping stones at all your friends' houses

...snake musk starts to smell good

...your friends don't bother asking what you're doing on a nice spring or fall day

...you identify what species of frog is calling in a commercial

...all your friends and family call you when they see a herp

...all your friends laugh at your "I Brake For Snakes" bumper sticker

...you have a lucky herping t-shirt and pants


Your friends stop telling you when their hamster/gerbil/cat has a litter



Redecorating the house means finding a way to squeeze in another vivarium.



:after winter you ask your wife/husband if he/she don't think that you should start
breeding.

: you start talking to your snakes, ask them how their day was and so on...
(I am doing this one quite often )

: When you look at a friend's new mice, bunnies, you size them up thinking which one
would fit into your snake



You introduce your collection of rodents to family and visitors as the menu.



... when your iguana has a better diet than your own and the kids in your neighborhood calls your house the local zoo!



You know you're a herper when your house is on the robbery list.. to be avoided at all costs (especially in South Africa)

[Morti]

I had a classic "You might be a herper if:" moment the other day. In line at the grocery store, the clerk asked me "Do you juce or what?" when she saw the wide array of veggies and greens. I replied "no ma'am, I cut them into bitesized peices and serve." ;)

[arjordan]

You might be a herper if...
You bring your herps to the dinner table to share your veggies. And your family doesn't mind...
Your midlife crisis upgrades you from a ball to a 'conda, intsead of a Rabbit to a Jaguar.

[redtails]

You might be a herper if you wake up with a python next to you in bed, then remember you let her out for company.

You buy a fridge/freezer just for your snakes(have to pick up 30 bunnies today before seeing sneak peak of snakes on a plane!)

[bloodpython_MA]

You might be a herper if....
You call your friends from daytona screaming haha im here and your not! and their all jealous.(notice the no mention of anyreptiles...it's a given)

[redtails]

http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c128/SnakeWrangler/IMG_0252.jpg
You might be a herper if you have to take a 2nd/3rd mortgage out on the house to get that patternless albino retic from prehistoric pets...
http://prehistoricpets.com/images/animals/carpet.jpg

You ask the apartment manager if aquariums are ok yet you don't have any fish...

You look at 2 room apts but live by yourself. And your "roomates" seem to provide most of your income...

[Moe B]

You might be a herper if you spend many a happy hour talking to your beloved snakes when they haven't got ears & your wife keeps saying what did you say? oh nothing dear i'm talking to my babies

[CJinNH]

You might be a herper if....
You call your friends from daytona screaming haha im here and your not! and their all jealous.(notice the no mention of anyreptiles...it's a given)


sorry had to buddy, maybe sometime you can make it
Chris

[Hennek]

You might be a herper if...


You frequently use the "trouser snake" pickup line (and laugh hysterically when they reply "what's a trouser snake?).

[redtails]

You ever get any takers? Never tried it but I might hafta...

[Snake=Eyes]

you might be an herper if ... you say hello sweatheart and your girl doesn't react anymore

[crsaz]

your parents bought you a full size fridge/freezer just for your snakes
the fridge your parents bought for you has over 75lbs of meat that you can't eat

[recycling goddess]

you might be a herper if... you yell over to your hubby while he's visiting with the neighbours... "your new balls are coming in tomorrow"! he beams, while they flinch LOL

[snakewispera snr]

you might be a herper when you go to petsmart and try to find a dog harness for your moniter

mike

[glima]

you might be a herper when 25% of your body consists of scar tissue. Gotta love monitors

you might be a herper if your "baby" is 6 foot long and weights more than 100 lbs

you might be a herper if you spend more cash in herp food daily than the cash you spend in your own food weekly

you might be a herper if you read this whole thread and find more than half of these facts true

[recycling goddess]

your putting in a new 135 gallon tank for your fish and you decide "why waste space?" and build a boa snake enclosure into the stand! (yup, that's what we're doing!)

[toddhowudoing]

You might be a herper if...


You frequently use the "trouser snake" pickup line (and laugh hysterically when they reply "what's a trouser snake?).


I use the alabama white snake, my wife hates that line....lol

[Schlyne]

you weigh yourself only so you can get an accurate weight on one of your larger snakes.

(woo hoo, my IJCP is 8 lbs).

[Schlyne]

You make guesses on the size of the snake based on the bite mark.

(it's true, I had a fellow herper look at the bite mark on my wrist at the last show, "hm, ok, the head is about this size...five footer?" "response "acutally, i think she's closer to 6 feet now")

[boidubrid]

this one is kinda innappropriate hope i dont get in trouble :(




...if youve touched more balls than an adult film star.

[redtails]

It's taken you over a year to read this because you have to keep going in to your snake room to make sure everyone's feeding/shedding ok, cages are clean & still inhabited, etc...

You spend more time with your "pets" than you do on work.

(warning: sick humor) Your find a way to put down your cat that's dying of leukemia without going to a vet. My mom just spent over $1500 on her cat this week, but I'd never actually do anything like that.